The mascot of our local school district happens to be a dog. Needless to say there aren’t many sports games played that the famous song by The Baha Men isn’t blared over the loudspeakers ten years after the song was popular and 9.5 years after it was tolerable.
The “dog” in this post is none other than our esteemed VP, Joe Biden. For the life of me I cannot understand why he is not kept under wraps. Even the lame-stream media cannot smother all of the things that come out of his mouth. Maybe his freedom is part of a “contrast” strategy whereby Obama looks bright and measured by comparison. A more likely scenario is that by shooting off his mouth, BHO can always jettison him before the next presidential election in favor of a more “suitable” running mate. By “suitable” I mean Hillary (she is famous for wearing pants suits).
My search for “Bidenisms” was exhaustive, but is not comprehensive so I would love contributions (comments) of the many that I missed. The first one is perhaps my favorites and has been played many times on Rush Limbaugh’s show. Biden was at a campaign event in Missouri and introduced a local state senator, Chuck Graham;
“Uh, uh, Chuck Graham, state senator, is here. Stand up, Chuck. Let ’em see you. Oh, God love you. What am I talking about? I tell you what, you’re making everybody else stand up, though, pal. I tell you what, stand up for Chuck.”
If you hadn’t guessed, Senator Graham is wheelchair-bound and is unable to stand. You would have thought that the Vice President of the United States would have a clue that a man in a wheelchair might not be able to stand. In Biden’s defense, he did make a pretty good save and you may watch the video on YouTube.
I call the next Bidenism ramblin, history rewritin, makin up, teachin, lyin, and skatin;
“The reason there was so much emphasis on health care wasn’t just that people who don’t have it need it, and those who have it have to keep it…to affect the long-term debt [rewritin history]…we’re in a situation here where if we do nothing about that cost curve—in the last 10 years, health care costs have gone up 100 percent [makin it up]…Now, unless you bring that cost curve from going like this, down like this, we’re in deep trouble. [teachin]…We get it [lyin]…Look, we are in good shape compared to Congress…No one in Washington’s in good shape.” [skatin]
It was all ramblin. Any real newsman would have actually questioned some of his claims. Maybe he has some Idiot Savant Hypnotic ability that makes journalists’ brains become three sizes too small?
One of the great Democrat taking points during any debate was Bush’s decision to seek and receive permission from Congress to use force against Iraq thus leading to the invasion. Democrats used terms like “Bush’s Vietnam” and “quagmire” and “this war is lost” to describe the battle. It seemed funny (sad, pathetic funny) when Biden made this statement setting off a mini battle with his predecessor Dick Cheney;
“I am very optimistic about — about Iraq. I mean, this could be one of the great achievements of this administration. You’re going to see 90,000 American troops come marching home by the end of the summer. You’re going to see a stable government in Iraq that is actually moving toward a representative government. I spent — I’ve been there 17 times now. I go about every two months — three months. I know every one of the major players in all the segments of that society. It’s impressed me.”
Here are some one-liners that need no introduction;
“Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.” [We know she agrees and probably Obama too]
“When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened. [Sorry Joe…Hoover was president and there was no TELEVISION]
“Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs” [His sentiment was right if not his counting and we are still near double digit unemployment]
“This is a big fucking deal!” [“whispered to BHO in front of a microphone during the signing of the Health Steal Bill. In all honesty Dick Cheney dropped the F-bomb, but his was funny telling Patrick Leahy to F Off when he tried to get into a photo with the Veep]
“His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.” [What about Dad’s soul?]
“I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. … When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway.” [No science czar here, but he did much to help the airline and tourism industries – I’m still waiting for one of the airlines to use this in a commercial]
“You know, I’m embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t. I’m actually embarrassed.” [Don’t laugh he meant the phone address, or the street link]
“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.” [He’s right, but the percentage is way too low]
“Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart.” [He understandably confused liberal icon Jon Stewart and Supreme Court Justice Stevens]
“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”[Describing one of the two Revs…Sharpton or Jackson]
“You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent…. I’m not joking.”[No you are a racist. I think Bobby Jindal won’t be counting on your vote when he runs for president]
While the future of our economy and perhaps our country is in doubt, we know that this list of Bidenisms is sure to grow. You won’t see them on the news cycle very long so thank God for Al Gore’s Internet.