Some quick predictions about Obama’s “State of the Union” speech tonight…
There’ll be plenty of WHINE:
- I inherited massive debt from you know who
- I inherited a really poor economy
- I inherited four trillion dollars in debt
- I inherited two unpaid for wars
- You should pay no attention to the massive debt that I have incurred
- It would be a lot worse if I hadn’t done what I did (try and prove otherwise)
- 9 out of 10 economists agree with me (I ask the ones in the White House every day – it’s really 10 of 10, but I wanted to make it real)
- The Republicans don’t want to play fair (meaning they won’t give me everything I want)
- The Republicans just want to favor the rich (you know those folks who contribute massive amounts to Democrat campaigns)
- The Republicans are against the working man (by that I mean the unions you know those folks who contribute massive amounts of money to my campaign and I can count on to vote for me many many times)
- The Republicans hate old people unless they are also rich
- I am really trying, but we had that whole “Arab spring” thing
- I am really trying, but we had that whole earthquake/tsunami in Japan
- The TEA party racists (strike that…his surrogates will make that claim and by surrogates it will be the lame-stream press) control the Republicans
- Oh and there is the European debt crisis (you know those folks who I would like America to emulate…just pay no attention to the fact that they are collapsing in on themselves and are moving as rapidly as possible toward free market economies)
- The Republicans aren’t even going to offer a rebuttal to my “Plan” so that the lame-stream media will have to focus on my words
Followed by the JEEZ (s0me of these are his thoughts and won’t be put on TOTUS):
- JEEZ if you’ll let me spend (borrow from China) a half a trillion dollars or so I’ll create (or save since that’s easier to claim) jobs (okay it will only be 500 jobs, but that’s better than nothing)
- JEEZ if Republicans would just be non-partisan I could get everything I want
- JEEZ if the TEA party would commit just one racial slur I could jump on that for empathy (The two Revs, Jackson and Sharpton, would love that too)
- JEEZ if only people would stop paying attention to my accomplishments my poll numbers would be better
- JEEZ where is Charlie Sheen, Snooki, or the Kardashians when I need them
- JEEZ I’d better hurry before football fans start tuning me out
- JEEZ did you see the bunch of racists on MSNBC last night
JEEZ I wanted to be on TV last night, but Boehner wouldn’t let me- JEEZ if I don’t win in 2012 I’ll be stuck at home with Michelle
- JEEZ I may be in real trouble over this Gun Runner thing
- JEEZ I should dump Geithner to take some of the heat off of me
- JEEZ Maxine Waters is not too bad looking and rich
- JEEZ I don’t think I’m in Martha’s Vineyard anymore
- JEEZ I still have Oprah on my side
- JEEZ I thought that Hoffa guy was buried in Giants Stadium
- JEEZ I could really use another cigarette (okay I’ve “officially” stopped smoking so it would be an “unofficial” smoke)
- JEEZ I am glad Joe Wilson is not coming. He seems to know when I am lying (i.e. when my lips are moving)
- JEEZ I hope Harry Reid doesn’t fall asleep behind me
- JEEZ I hope someone remembered to send Biden somewhere in a “safe location”
- JEEZ if I bomb this I could be in trouble with the voters…nah the media will cover for me and 28 percent of the voters have no choice but to vote for me
