Ralphie Parker: Growing up in Indiana, all nine-year old Ralphie wants is a “an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time.” His parents, other adults and even Santa discourage him from this gift by telling him that “you’ll shoot your eye out.” Ralphie got his wish and promptly took a shot and hit himself in the glasses.
Dr. John A. Zoidberg: If you have ever watched the animated television series, Futurama, you are familiar with Dr. John A. Zoidberg. Dr. Zoidberg seems to be a hapless character who is not well liked and is not particularly competent at his job as the medical officer for his company, Planet Express. His beliefs are backwards as he thinks food is digested in the heart and cannot tell the difference between robots and humans. He seems to be unaware of common human customs and socially inept to the point that most cannot stand to be in his presence and detest him.
Snidely Whiplash was the tireless antagonist to Canadian Mountie, Dudley Do-Right, in the 1960s cartoon. The tireless villain in the cartoon melodrama often made Nell Fenwick the object of his schemes where she often ended up tied to a railroad track. Often foiled by Do-Right, Snidely never gave up his machinations to do evil. Whiplash was portrayed as a bright yet evil man who was often beaten by a lesser Dudley. One senses that the dual for “right” had been going on long before the series.
Gollum Sméagolis a pitiable figure from the world of Middle Earth. Controlled by the power of the ring that rules them all, he strugles to decide whether to serve his master, Frodo Baggins, or the powerful ring. In a sad yet predictable the ending, the ring wins.
Alan Grayson is a pitiable figure from the world of Florida Democrat politics. Controlled by the power of the Washington Beltway, he strugles to decide whether to serve the public as he did supporting an audit of the Fed or serve the politics of Pelosi. In a sad yet predictable ending, his precious wins as he actually described his opponents’ heath care reform measures as “Republicans want you to die quickly.”
Ashley George Hamilton gathered what little celebrity he had to garner an appearance as a contestant on this season’s Dancing With the Stars. In case you were wondering, he was considered one of the stars. Most people had never heard of him before his rise to fame, but he was voted one of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People. Many thought that his appearance on the show would give him a boost and he could have been a slam dunk for the finals. Fate (or a lack of talent) did not smile on him as he had the dubious distinction of being the first to be voted off of the show. There is no word from Hamilton on future plans…maybe Celebrity Apprentice.
Peter Paul “Paulie Walnuts” Gualtieri is a one of the most interesting characters on the Sopranos television series. Paulie is one of the top advisers to the head of the family and is considered one of the most ruthless members. He is considered heartless and volatile which seem to make him a very effective enforcer. He is also part of the inner most circle and perhaps the most trustworthy of Tony Soprano’s crew. Paulie has long been known to desire to move up in the organization.
Grandpa Munster(AKA Sam Dracula) was the sarcastic patriarch of the Munster family even though his son-in-law, Herman, owned the house and daughter, Lily, kept things together. Often a behind the scenes character relegated to his subterranean lab, Grandpa hatches scheme after scheme and invention after invention. As a vampire, he is active at night and one had to wonder what he was really up to and when one of his ideas would cause problems.
Barney Rubble: Barney was the loveable sidekick and neighbor to Fred Flintstone. Barney, though somewhat dim-witted, always supported Fred’s schemes. Barney’s interests are described to include bowling, playing pool, poker, tinkering around in Fred’s garage and playing golf. He was also a member of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos lodge and the Loyal Order of Dinosaurs. He is also a talented pianist and drummer.
Barney married the super hot Betty and they later adopted Bamm-Bamm. Barney has an obvious fondness for food. It was never quite clear what Barney’s occupation is or what, if any skills he possesses.
Jabba the Hut: Many of you remember Jabba The Hut from the original Star Wars movies. This international gangster sought wealth through any means. The official Stars Wars web site contains this summary of the beloved Jabba:
“A loathsome slug of a gangster, Jabba the Hutt was the preeminent kingpin of crime in the Outer Rim Territories. Basing his operations out of Tatooine, the Hutt had his pudgy fingers in a number of lucrative and unsavory rackets — slavery, gunrunning, spice-smuggling, extortion and more.
For those of you Harry Potter fans, your probably recognize Mr. Peter Pettigrew as the wizard who betrayed James and Lily Potter leading to their death at the hands of He Who Must Not Be Named. Pettigrew (AKA Wormtail) faked his death and hid for years as Scabbers the pet rat of one of Harry’s friends, Ron. Pettigrew’s true identity came to light as he again tried to help The Dark Lord.
The rat persona was appropriate for Peter as he was a petty man living through the popularity of his friends. Prone to bitterness, he betrayed them and framed another friend to take the blame. Even his master found him contemptible:
