Headline Humor – Volume VIII

Greg — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 00:45:14 +0000

I know many of these stories are serious, but the headlines removed the restrain from my brain and we get headline humor. These are the actual headlines as I found on-line. When you click on the headline you will be taken to the original story which more often than not has nothing to do with my vision of the headline.

Obama summer reading list leans toward fiction

Obama summer reading list leans toward fiction - Part deux

Playboy Mansion illness traced to hot tub bacteria

Lindsay Lohan Might Teach Acting Classes at Homeless Shelter

US: Terrorists look to implant bombs in humans

Eel removed from man’s bladder after entering penis during beauty spa

Department of Innovation

Greg — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 14:00:26 +0000

Try to imagine a dozen Obama-acolytes sitting around a table for hours discussing the new agency, The Department of Innovation. It’s now been three long weeks that they have been toiling away when one jumps up and exclaims, “I’ve got it!” He rushes to the smart board and hurriedly scribbles his idea for the others to see. They are paying close attention to the Harvard law graduate as his vision starts to take shape. As he steps back all eyes are looking at his vision. A Phd in economics from Yale pipes up and suggests that some stars be used somewhere that would make it look patriotic to fly-over country. A woman with a doctorate in gender studies from Princeton suggests yellow might be a powerful color to add. After a few back and forths they are quite pleased with themselves and hand the product over for final editing. There were no jobs created. They spent thousands of dollars. The only innovation was the logo…

I added the arrows to show the path to seizure

Of course the scenario that I laid out was a work of fiction. I have no way of knowing what went on behind the scenes to create the logo for our new Department of Innovation. I have no doubt that it cost many many thousands of dollars to create and took bloggers minutes to scoff at since the gears in their logo could never work. Please tell me how so many Obama-acolytes described as the “best and brightest” missed the fact that their fancy logo would cause the gears to seize. Could it be because they are all about form rather than substance? Could it be because they have never done anything outside of academia? Could it be that they live in the theoretical world and their experiences have not exposed them to reality?

Michele Malkin heralded the poor design in her blog and one of her commentors provided the expertise lacking from the band of boobs who designed the logo,

“I’ve been a gear designer for over 30 years, and just want to confirm how stupid that logo is. What they are showing are what I would call cogs, poorly designed and completely non functional cogs. If you tried to actually run them together, even two of them it would simply make a terrible clunking motion not suitable for any application. So whether they lock up or simply make a jerky clunking motion, it’s the perfect emblem for the governments department of innovation. Gear design principles have been around since the ancient Greeks. Leave it to a flashy new “innovation” program to point the way forward (or is it back?)”

That’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone say, “I’ve been a gear designer for over 30 years” and I am glad we have some normal folks out there who pick up on this stuff. Is the crappy logo a big deal? Certainly not, but it goes to the sloppy nature that has plagued the Obama Administration since its beginnings. The only way to characterize their efforts is to see them as one would expect from a community organizing effort that is not used to having their output scrutinized. The Department of Innovation hurriedly revised their logo in response to the criticism, but perhaps not enough,

“Moving just the one gear doesn’t help. No two components shaped like that would work together as the logo implies. Their logo is a mechanism which doesn’t do anything. Maybe that was intentional.”

Maybe the change is a metaphor for this administration…making a slight adjustment to make it look good on paper, not really doing anything efficiently or correctly like would be expected in the real world.

Hold Tight

Greg — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:05:17 +0000

Imagine that your a well-off suburban father and you find yourself deep in the inner city as you search for your troubled teenager. Or imagine that you are a mother who recently went back to work as a lawyer only to be pulled away because your son has disappeared.

In Hold Tight you are thrust into worlds of murder, drugs, cyber-spying, infidelity, a chauvinistic cop, a smart cop, cell phones, and of all things an elementary school. Somehow author Harlan Coben links these together in a riveting novel. One of the things that I enjoyed is that I could sort of figure out what might happen as the story progressed, even though I was not always right, yet this did not detract from the story. I was pulled along because of the pace of the story.

I guess that the best way to illustrate how much I enjoyed this is that I stayed up until 4:00 am to finish it two nights ago. It was that good! [Note: I am still paying for that lack of sleep]

Framing the Dialogue » fiction