Framing the Dialogue

Spam Spam Wonderful Spam

spamEarlier this week I celebrated the first anniversary of Framing The Dialogue and today I celebrate a more dubious feat.   Wordpress offers a plugin called Akismet that filters your comments and “spams” them.  While I do look at the Spam before deleting them they are much easier to manage through the Akismet.  This will sound like a commercial, but if you blog and do not use Akismet, you are nuts!

The feat to which I was referring was that Akismet has now caught over 5,000 spam messages (I had only started using it this summer).  In all of those, I can only remember allowing three that I thought were legitimate.  That is a pretty good batting average.  Once I got to the halfway point to 5,000 spams I started to select some of the more unusual ones.  This collection follows one of my favorite clips from Monty Python’s Flying Circus.  Back in my youth, the show was only available on PBS which was very difficult to tune in with antenna (yes I am that old).  I remember trying to watch late in the evening attempting to improve reception with rolls of aluminum foil wrapped all around my rabbit ears.

Here is Monty Python’s infamous Spam sketch for your viewing pleasure…

Best (and worst – these are as received and not edited) of Spam Comments:

September 1, 2009:  “Very utilitarian dispatch but there are some burden where I resolve not agree. But blanket its pure good.” [English may not have been their first language]

September 5, 2009:  “Hello. My name is Chris. I’m from USA. I’m new to this forum, i was hoping you could maybe teach me some stuff.” [No]

September 7, 2009:  “I don’t usually post but I enjoyed your blog a lot, Thanks alot for the great read.” [posted the same message three times on the same day.]

September 8, 2009:  “Good job!” [I liked this one]

September 9, 2009:  “hi-ya , I’ve recently found what I was looking for on site so far…i’m busy and I work from home so I will check back.”

September 10, 2009:  “I will be sure to bookmark your site and check later.”

September 12, 2009:  “Nice but i think something is missing.” [maybe they meant their comment.  I did feel complete for a short period]

September 13, 2009:  “I join today & have to say that this place looks COOL!!” [There is no where on my site to “join” anything.]

DSC_1231September 14, 2009: “You made some good points here.” [I agree, but doubt that this person actually read my posting…their loss]

September 15, 2009:  “I;m already VERY impressed with the volume on this board and that resources available!” [Huh?]

September 17, 2009:  “Let me give you my card.”  [????]

September 18, 2009:  “I’d like to visit the flower market.”  [I sometimes imagine foreign spammers sitting down with an English phrase book randomly selecting things to post]

September 24, 2009:  “Fabulously unprejudiced posting this criticism to depict that I on your blog daily.” [I actually find myself rather opinionated]

September 27, 2009:  “I love you.” [I almost approved this one…almost]

 September 30, 2009:  “Ce message, est incomparable))), j’aime” [I don’t speek French, but this sounds like a compliment]

October 7, 2009:  “I was going to write a similar blog concerning this topic, you beat me to it. You did a nice job!”  [The early blog gets the post]

October 20, 2009:  “Hey very nice blog ! You are an expert !!” [blushing]

November 5, 2009:  “Hello I reached ur website using bing. And i’m happy I did because this blog kicks ass Bye from Finland.” [I have a fan in Findland?]

November 9, 2009:  “можно cделать маленький сборник”  [?????]

November 11, 2009:  “Hey distinguished post, I sincerely enjoyed it, in particular with reference to the second mention that you made. The only thing I have to bring up to you would be viewing the website through the Konquerer browser… for several reason it does not appear to load the web site with the sidebar seems to break – might want to check that out!”

November 11, 2009:  “Hey great post, I genuinely enjoyed it, mainly on the subject of the 2nd statement that you made. The only thing I have to bring up to you would be viewing the site through the Konquerer browser… for several reason it does not seem to load the website in addition to the sidebar seems to break – might want to check that out!

Very similar, sent at the same time…maybe they are twins.

shoesNovember 13, 2009:  “hi there dudes. I’m really into shoes.”  [Friday the 13th must bring out the kooks as I received comments from several who are fond of shoes.]

Friday the 13th was a very big day for spam…I got nearly 200 messages.

November 17, 2009:  “Why hello swain forum people! I just wanted to interpose myself here as this looks like a dialect right attractive forum! I myself am gripping in things like writeing and computer shape so if anyoune needs facilitate farm out me remember! I also Suffer from Sciatica so if you aslo secure this disease cause to me skilled in so we can stake some stretches!”  [my guess is that English is not their first language]

November 22, 2009:  “One of my favorite artists, thank you! You can find loads of their music this over at this site” [this was a comment on an article about our Attorney General Eric Holder.  While you could make the argument that he is participating in a song and dance I would NEVER consider him an artist]

November 24, 2009:  “I like this website really much.  This is such a extraordinary place.  And it is not like other money orientating site, the info here is truly helpful.  I am definitely bookmarking it as well as sharing it with my friends.”  [why do such nice words have to be spam?  I got two of these messages today.]

December 1, 2009:  “I am a dark man. [Not sure how to interpret that one]

December 3, 2009:  “Thanks for the informative info – I had fun reading it! I always love browsing your blog.” [Nice words, however the comment was on a posting that was about a year old.  That makes me mistrust their statement that they “always love brosing your blog.” – Spam can be cruel]

December 5, 2009:  “excellent post!! would any of your readers be interested in, a professional, quality, DIVING TORCH ?” [I think my readers already have enough diving torches]

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