I almost always shy away from Hollywood award shows. Mostly because I don’t enjoy pampered rich babies telling me what I should think. Most of us work harder in a week than they do all year. My wife, however, likes them, we have one TV…do the math. Before I retreated to another room to read, I caught the opening by Ricky Gervais. WOW!
It was raw comedy that your rarely see in Hollyweird. I loved it. He took on all comers and I was disappointed that network cameras did not show his victims as he took swipes at them. Here’s a few of my faves:
“The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie Cats, but no one saw that.”
I do like Mr. Corden, but I am tired of seeing the creepy Cats ads on television.
“But Dame Judi Dench defended the film (Cats), saying it was the role she was born to play because she – I can’t do this next joke. Because she loves nothing better than plonking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her arse hole. She’s old school. It’s the last time, who cares.”
Notably, it’s Gervais’ last time hosting the show so he unleashed.
“But tonight isn’t just about the people in front of the camera. In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background. But they all have one thing in common. They’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for you. Look, talking of all you perverts. It was a big year for paedophile movies: Surviving R Kelly, Leaving Neverland… The Two Popes.”
“So in the end, he (Harvey Weinstein) obviously didn’t kill himself – just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend, but I don’t care. You had to make your own way here on your own plane didn’t you?”
…And perhaps my favorite…
“Apple roared into the TV game with The Morning Show, a superb drama. A superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. So, well, you say you’re woke, but the companies you work for. I mean, unbelievable: Apple, Amazon, Disney. If Isis started a streaming service, you’d call your agent, wouldn’t you? So if you do win an award tonight, please don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your God and fuck off.”
A stunning speach. He’ll never work in the United States again.