News briefs are a collection of interesting news stories…
Brief 1: Finally some decent news for those of us men on the higher end of the weight scale. We cannot really wear tight Lycra bike shorts, Speedo swim briefs (no one except for competitive swimmers should anyway), or vertical stripes, but it seems that heavier men actually have heavier paychecks than their skinnier counterparts. Of course the thinner guys get more women since they don’t care about how much a man makes. The news is not so good for women whose paychecks are inversely proportional to their weight.
Brief 2: What does “FBI” stand for?
- Federal Bureau of Investigation (check)
- Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity (check – that is the FBI’s motto)
- Fraud, Besmerch, and Intrigue (??)
It seems that some FBI agents were caught cheating recently on some tests. I just don’t know what to say. At least the CIA would have shot the whistleblower, made it look like a suicide and never leave a fingerprint.
Brief 3: I lamented a while back that we are seeing far too much Obama for my taste. That was over 18 months ago and if anything we are seeing even more of him. I am not sure how he gets his “work” done between the travel, the golf, and his vacations. One show that I have enjoyed over the years has been MythBusters and now Obama is going to ruin that. He is slated to appear on one of their upcoming episodes. No word on whether they’ll attack the myth that he will change the culture in Washington or actually live up to some of his centrist promises. Or the myth about the falling teleprompter causing a fire and ruining his speech. First Michele ruins the FoodNetwork for me and now this. What’s next…will he appear on O’Reilly or Hannity; maybe Glenn Beck’s show. We’d bust some myths then.Brief 4: The Associated Press reported recently that “almost 3,000 millionaires collected jobless benefits.
A number of things jump out at me regarding this article including the timing since it was release a month before an important mid-term election and the Democrats are hastily trying to jin up some class warfare as usual. I feel comfortable saying that since the data referred to was from 2008. Why is something that happened in 2008 important in 2010? The thing that struck me initially was that it is called “unemployment insurance” and either we pay it or our employers pay it. They paid the insurance so they are eligible for the benefit. It’s that simple.
Brief 4: As more evidence of our military demise because of INSANE rules of engagement the Washington Examiner reported “that watch towers surrounding the base [Afghanistan] were going to be dismantled because Afghan village elders, some sympathetic to the Taliban, complained they were invading their village privacy.” What’s next? How about we remove the fences and gates so that we don’t restrict them…and what about those nasty bullets our soldiers are sometimes allowed to use. They must hurt when propelled into an enemy’s flesh. You just have to sigh, scream, or pray.
Brief 5: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to grow up. This is a lesson that Martin Sheen seems to have forgotten to give little Charlie. News reports that a naked, drunk Sheen was found with an escort in New York’s Plaza Hotel. Oh and he trashed his room. I have to confess that I had erroneously assumed that the “half” in the title of his show Two and a Half Men referred to the child actor. Wrong! I need to find a job that pays me millions to be myself, though I don’t drink enough and was never particularly successful with women and while my Dad was great, he was not famous.