Unlike everybody else today, my thoughts on the first 100 days of the new administration are all about me. It has been an interesting and enlightening period in my personal history. These lessons are in no particular order of importance or chronology.
- I have learned that because I oppose an expansion of role the federal government and anticipate huge tax increases that my brain is different and I am a racist. Thank you Janeane Garofalo.
- I have learned what teabagging is although I could have lived without this knowledge. Thanks Anderson Cooper.
- I have learned that the President of the United States can have humility even though the position used to be considered the leader of the free world. So much humility that he would bow before the Saudi Prince…Oh wait the White House confirmed that it was a “lean” and not what you actually saw on YouTube. Thank you President Obama.
- I have learned that we do not really need friends anyway. We can snub the British leaders with thoughtless gifts of DVDs and model helicopters from the White House Gift Shop. And let’s not forget to give the queen an iPod. Did anyone check to see if the tunes included on the iPod were legally obtained? Thanks Obama administration.
- I have learned the Cuba and the Castro’s are really nice folks; just like you and me. All those stories about scores of Cubans risking their lives to try to escape to Florida on floating refrigerators must have made up. Thanks Rep. Emanual Cleaver;
“We’ve been led to believe that the Cuban people are not free, and they are repressed by a vicious dictator, and I saw nothing to match what we’ve been told.”
- I have learned that all of President Obama’s promises (campaign or otherwise) have an expiration date. That is the only way to explain the way he “misremembers” former promises. Thanks Rush.
- I have learned that the Stimulus package was an emergency and that it had to be voted on before anyone, including the Congress, could read it. It really was an emergency, except for the Presidents vacation to Chicago and trip to Denver. Admittedly he did sign the legislation there. It has been a while and I still do not feel stimulated. Thanks President Obama.
- I have learned that because I am against big government, am Christian, am against abortion, am opposed to communist regimes (any country that describes its rulers as regimes probably worries me), am against unchecked ILLEGAL immigration, oppose one world government, am conservative that I might be inclined to join a militia and become a domestic terrorist (or “man-made disaster creator”). That would sadden me, but I am in good company with the likes of war veterans, conservative talk show hosts, other conservative bloggers, AND PROBABLY MOST OF OUR FOUNDING FATHERS! Thank you Janet Reno (sorry, I meant Napolitano).
- I have learned that tax evasion is ok. There is a caveat…you have to be up for a leadership position in the White House and must also “be the only person on earth who can do the job.” Thanks Geithner, et al.
- I have learned that there are not many people on earth qualified enough to save us and who have paid their taxes. Thank you White House.
- I have learned that, while the President is perhaps the most intelligent president we have ever had, he often does not know what is going on under his watch. He might need a Lojak system on Air Force One. Thank you White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs.
- I have learned that our President can feel good about listening to another countries leader trash our country as long as our President is not blamed for it. Is that what they call leadership? Thank you President Obama.
- I have learned that if my wife and I can keep our jobs and increase our income by a little over double, WE’LL BE RICH. I had mistakenly thought that it would take more than an income of $250,000 to be rich. I am actually pumped to be this close to being rich. Thank you Democrats.
- I have learned that when the federal government “bails out” a company it really is not nationalizing the corporations at all. The federal government just has the authority to decide who the company hires/fires within management, set salaries, and determines the product line. That sounds nothing like nationalization. Thank you Washington Politicians.
- I have learned that I will never buy a GM product again. In a planned restructuring the federal government may become the majority shareholder in GM and share power with…wait for it…wait…the United Auto Workers Union. No more GMs for us. Thank you Washington Politicians.
- I have learned that Chrysler may be in worse shape than GM. In their proposed restructuring, they seem to want to throw all of their problems to the union. In the proposed deal the UAW (yes the same ones that will own GM) will have a majority stake in the automaker. It will be interesting to see how Chrysler management (UAW) negotiates with their workers (also UAW). I think that we will still hold on to our 2000 Towne & Country. Thank you UAW.
- I have learned that a million dollars is not that much money and that the “chattering classes don’t care.” This only applies when developing the federal budget. Thank you Sen. Shumer.
- I have learned that dripping water on someone, attention grabbing, cramped quarters, loud noises, small spaces with insects, sleep deprivation and other uncomfortable measures ARE TORTURE! I have contacted a lawyer as I was subjected to these very methods on several Boy Scout camping trips. Unfortunately, the statute of limitation has run out. Note to Department of Justice: watch the Fox TV series 24 (not the new ones, but the earlier less PC ones) to see how Jack Bauer interrogates. Thank you Obama Administration.
- I have learned that we can sit down with our opponents and have a dialogue without preconditions, unless it is Iran (snubbed Obama’s video), North Korea (how about that ballistic missile test), North Korea (go ahead and start that nuke program again), and the Republicans (go ahead and try to win another election). Thank you State Department.
- I have learned that sleeveless is in. I may have to wait for my “farmers tan” to really develop before the sleeves come off. Thank you Michele Obama.
- I have learned that shirtless is in. Too many extra pounds on my frame for shirtless. Thank you Barack Obama.
- I have learned that the Clinton administration’s Rendition program was really not that bad. I have learned that when Bush continued and grew the program, it was evil. I have learned that when Obama kept the program it was not that bad again. Thank you Main Stream Media.
- I have learned that the British media may be a better source of information than our own Main Stream Media. Maybe it is because they do not yet have their Obama cheerleading outfits like the American Media. Thank you Brits.
- I have learned that the United States, when President Obama was very young and not responsible, did some very, very bad things. Our President is planning to apologize to every third-world country on earth for whatever they think that we did. Thank you President Obama.
- I have learned that America “has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive” toward Europe. Our president made this confession in France of all places. Because of this arrogance and dismissive attitude, he declined to visit the site of the Normandy invasion. He also declined an invitation to pay respects to the thousands of those arrogant and dismissive American soldiers burried there. Too bad, he could have laid a wreath on my uncle’s grave there. Thanks President Obama.
- I have learned that “create jobs” can become “create or save jobs” once you are elected. Job creation is measurable. Job saving is impossible to disprove. Thank you President Obama.
I have learned to breathe deeply very often as this too shall pass…someday…hopefully.