Framing the Dialogue

There is going to be a lot written and spoken about the nearly 2,000 page piece of legislation that was hoisted on us yesterday.  There are many experts who will evaluate this piece by piece and page by page.  Some will love it most will hate it, but there will be huge push to pass this thing.  I have a few thoughts as we move forward:

• First of all, kudos to Congress for actually making this available for us to read.  It is also nice that the representatives have the opportunity to also read the bill before they vote on it.  Even John Conyers may take the time to read this bill.
• Why does a “comprehensive” bill seem to leave out tort reform?
• Why does a bill have to be comprehensive?  Why don’t they just pass the easy stuff as a start (tort reform, interstate competition, medicare/medicaid fraud enforcement, etc.).
• Does anyone else think that the need for nearly 2,000 pages signal that there is a lot of crap hidden in here?
• How can a piece of legislation that will cost $1.25 TRILLION (I added the Medicare costs back in) be considered to NOT to add to our deficit.  Since it has to be paid by some method, that can only mean massive tax hikes.  What ever happened to that promise from then candidate Obama that 90% of Americans will NOT see their taxes increased?
• Why do I feel like we are hurtling towards systems of nanny-government when many other countries who are already there are going through the painful process of shedding socialism and socialized medicine?
• Why 2,000 pages?
• Why $1,250,000,000,000?

I have not read the bill, but the shear size had me thinking about trees and the environment and what we may be able to do with all of those copies when this thing fails and we have to hope that it fails.  Here are some of my ideas:

The next time President Obama wants to make a speech in front of big, Greek columns, the actual columns should be constructed from copies of the 2,000 page health care bull.  If you spent any time making copies that is nearly four reams of paper!

Remember that border fence that like 85 percent of Americans want to see built to restrict illegal immigrants and quite possibly terrorists from entering the United States?  Yeah the one like they built near San Diego that actually worked.  That fence has never been built.  I know you are thinking that the fence was voted on and approved and it was.  You see one of the sneaky little things that our legislature does is to “approve” things so that they can go back and get your vote, but then they don’t authorize any money to the project so it can actually get built.  It is like John Kerry voting for the war before he voted against it.  Let’s use copies of the 2,000 page health care bull to finish the wall!

You may remember when our current Vice President, Joe Biden, accidentally slipped and spilled the beans on the location of his secret bunker.  I can only imagine that we need to build another one and suggest that maybe we use copies of the 2,000 page health care bull.  Paper is a pretty good insulator and using it may be “green” winning the praises of Al Gore. 

There was a leaked photograph from the White House showing how President Obama has been using his copy of the 2,000 page health care bull.  It seems that maybe he is not as accomplished with a basketball as advertised and had some help.  Most photographs released by the White House of his basketball games are shot above the waist.  I wonder why none of his basketball buddies (no women allowed) have complained about the “boost” Obama gets from health care?  Oh that’s right, it’s his ball and his court. 

Do not despair as there are home uses for the 2,000 page health care bull.  I you have little crumb snatchers around and like do-it-yourself projects, get a few copies and make little Suzie here very own tunnel of health.  It is recommended that you secure the pieces of the legislation together so that it does not collapse on poor Suzie as our society will surely collapse if this 2,000 page health care bull is actually signed in to law.

Many people are buying those big screen televisions today and rather than hanging them on their walls, they are looking for unique ways to display their units.  If you go to a junk yard and buy some windshields from  some clunkers and get a few copies of the 2,000 page health care bull, you can build an entertainment center that will be the envy of your neighbors.  The shear weight of these 2,000 page health care bulls makes a very sturdy piece of furniture.

Our last featured home use for the 2,000 page health care bull is probably the most pertinent going into this winter.  Predictions are that we are in for one cold winter and will probably be wishing for a little global warming by January.  Don’t worry that your elected officials will not allow drilling for gas and oil in the United States, because they have just given you plenty of fuel to burn in your fireplaces.  That is, of course, if you are allowed to burn paper where you live.  Better that you died of cold than put some smoke in the air.

The city folks are not to be outdone in ingenuity when thinking of ways to use the 2,000 page health care bull.  I snapped this photograph this morning as I rode through our local town.  It is heart-warming that people are thinking of safety when they steal your tires and strip your cars.  You would not want one of these thieves to lose a hand when they steal your car although in some cultures that is the punishment for stealing.