Framing the Dialogue

Easter Surprise

The image has been altered to protect my stupidity!

This was an unusual Easter for us as our son celebrates his 21st birthday on Easter.  Our family got together the day before to celebrate our family Easter so it was just going to be us today.  We decided to get him as one of his gifts a case of beer.  I am sure that it was his first one!  We needed some for home also so I thought to get two different kinds and divide them up giving us both some variety.

One the drive home after buying the beer I thought of a cool way to present the present to our son.  I was going to cut each case in half and connect two different halves together with packing tape to look like one case.  That sounded way cool to me.  So I wake up this morning and the kids were still in bed.  My kids are older and no longer get up at the crack of dawn to search for Easter baskets.  My wife was preparing dinner so that all she had to do was pop it in the oven later. 

We had the beer stashed inside her car so I grabbed my best razor knife, went to the garage, and went to work.  This knife is sweet and sharp.  It has an ergonomic handle letting me easily slice through the thin cardboard box.  I got all of the way around until I got to the handle.  The Yuengling folks have been pretty considerate and made the handle pretty thick so that it will allow you to carry the case using the handle.  I ran the knife through the handle once, twice without success.  I really bore down on the third slice and was successful…slicing a nice gash into my thumb. 

Click at your own risk as it it bloody!

I think that I swore (just the “s” word) and took a peak at the wound through the blood.  I am not squeamish, but I knew that I needed to go to the Emergency Room.  I cupped my hand under my cut and went to the kitchen to grab a paper towel and told my wife that we needed to go to the ER.  I am not suggesting that she sped, but we got there pretty fast.  Easter Sunday mornings at ERs seem to be a quiet time as there was only one other person in the waiting room.  Also, when you walk in holding a bloody towel you get their attention. 

I had an experience with a kidney stone and had to got to the same ER many years ago.  If you have never had a kidney stone count your blessings.  The pain is terrific.  Once again my wife dutifully drove me there in the middle of the night.  I stood (it was too painful to sit) and proceeded to answer questions by the admissions person and wondered why they needed to know my mother’s maiden name while I was in so much pain.  She never finished all of her questions because I vomited some green bile-looking substance in her waste paper basket.  She took me right back.

Back to Easter…the rest of my trip was uneventful as I didn’t do any damage to any tendons and just needed six stitches.  I obviously can still type, but I was told not to do dishes for a week (score!!!) and hope to milk this thing for as long as possible.  I should note that I violated everything that my father taught me regarding knife safety by pulling the knife toward me. 

I did finish the box later that day.

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