Framing the Dialogue

Don’t Be Cross When I

Of all places to get inspiration, my muse for this post revealed herself in the Costco dining area where I was about to enjoy one of their quarter pound hot dogs and a pop (that’s what we call it in Pittsburgh) for only $1.70.  A new mother (I think you may know where this is going) decided to feed her infant child.  She was very modest, but the “tent” that she erected was like an eye magnet.  It was like passing an accident; you don’t want to look, but you still do. 

I started to think of all of the displays that we come across where we are lured into an invasion of other peoples space or lives.  So don’t be cross when:

  • I listen to your cell phone conversation,
  • I listen to your conversation in the crowded elevator,
  • I look over more than once at your screaming kid in the restaurant in which I am trying to have a pleasant meal…the more expensive the menu the more I’ll look,
  • I check out your numerous tattoos unless your are a really really deranged looking biker (I probably won’t be staring anyway),
  • I stare at your food cause you ordered something better than I did,
  • I stare in admiration at your masterful accomplishment of stacking over six inches of food on your buffet plate even though you are allowed to go back,
  • I shake my head at you overweight torso exposed by your custom sleeveless t-shirt (I am overweight, but modestly conceal my girth),
  • I wonder at the quality of your mirror as your muffin-top spills out of your bare midriff top,
  • I ask for medical advice when you wear your scrubs to the grocery store,
  • I wonder how in the hell you got into those pants (since I am married to a wonderful woman this is simple a matter of engineering curiosity…really),
  • I am enthralled by how much you look like your pet dog,
  • If you are in your car waiting with your turn signal and I take my time loading my car and pulling out of the parking space…there are plenty of others…you might just have to walk a few feet more to the store,
  • I step around you in the post office line since you don’t actually have your items packaged,
  • I am in the passing lane and am going over the speed limit…maybe not your speed limit.
  • I leave a little present on your door handle after you cut me off in the parking lot…better than slicing the sidewall of your tire,
  • I place items in your shopping cart when you leave it completely blocking the aisle,
  • I remove items from your shopping cart that I need when you leave it completely blocking the aisle,
  • I repeatedly count to 22 (equalling the number of items in your cart) while you are in the “10 items or less express aisle,”
  • I sneak a peak at you when I pass to see what kind of person would put those particular stickers on their car,

I know that I went off the task a little, but I got on a roll.  It’s amazing how much you remember once you start…very cathartic…or I have a lot pent up inside me.

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