A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE, OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.
1. The nicest thing about the future is…that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog…but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don’t have a sense of humor…you probably don’t have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining…as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is…when you’re in deep water.
This email went around and is attributed to Jeff Foxworthy. I kind of doubt that even though I believe that he is a conservative voice. He just seems to stay away from controversy. In any event the piece is funny as in “ha ha” and in “sad” but true.
- If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally – you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
I know lots of folks don’t like Wal-Mart, but this is very sad but fascinating…
- Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.
- This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
- Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
- Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
- Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world’s largest private employer, and most speak English.
- Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. – Mark Twain
“I contend that, for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity, is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.” – Winston Churchill
“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” – George Bernard Shaw
“A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.” – G. Gordon Liddy
In 1887 Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior:
“A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent Form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until The time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous Gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse over loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship.”
The Americans With No Abilities Act
President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Give a man a welfare check, free childcare, a free cell phone, free Internet, cash for his clunker, food stamps, section 8 housing, free contraceptives, Medicaid, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment, free medicine, and he will vote Democrat the rest of his life…even after he’s dead.
25 Great Truths & possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read:
The Great Truths
1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
– John Adams
2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
– Mark Twain
3. Suppose you were an idiot…And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
– Mark Twain