Framing the Dialogue

All About Cheese

I recently reviewed a book titled Who Cut the Cheese that prompted this posting.  In the book, cheese is a metaphor for whatever you want out of life.  I wondered about that.  What if you just want some cheese?  Cheese doesn’t have to represent success or money or fame.  It’s just cheese.

Can’t life be that simple?  I love cheese and I am not ashamed to admit it.  Sorry to all of you lactose intolerant people.  Try to be more accepting of us cheese lovers.  Can’t we just get along? 

A search of “cheese” in Yahoo returned 384,000,000 hits!  One of the sites is for Fromages (French for cheese) and while their web page included a boutique for cheeseware, they do not, however, offer good ole American cheese.  Snobs!

Second only to bacon, cheese may be the most perfect food.  It has its own web-site for cheese lovers; I Love Cheese.  This site has a feature where you can explore the more than 250 cheese-making farms across the country.  How sweet is that?  The site is a little slow mooooving though.

Take the time to find your inner cheese personality with their cheese profiler.  Blue cheese topped my list in the profile, but I really don’t like this variety.  My favorite is a really sharp cheddar, but that did not even make my profile list.  Maybe I was wrong about cheddar all of these years.  Also, I could not find Velveeta anywhere on this site.  Maybe it is under the non-refrigerated cheese section.

I went to the I Love Tofu site and it’s not nearly as cool. 

Amazon offers several books about cheese, the coolest is the Cheese Lover’s Companion.  This is the ultimate cheese guide (hint:  If you click through my web site, I get credit from Amazon even better for me if you buy something). 

You may also become a member of the American Cheese Society.  Their mission and purpose is to:

  • uphold the highest standards of quality in the making of cheese and related fermented milk products.
  • uphold the traditions and preserve the history of American cheesemaking.
  • be an educational resource for American cheesemakers and the public.
  • encourage consumption through better education on the sensory pleasures of cheese and its healthful and nutritional values.

You can become an associate member for only $150.00.  This would be a great gift for that special loved one.  Unfortunately it is too late for Valentine’s Day. 

Everybody loves cheese even though some cannot tolerate it.  In fact, average U.S. cheese consumption almost tripled between 1970 and 2003.  Statistically, the average American eats around 31 pounds of cheese per year.  I could not determine whether this amount includes that spicy yellow stuff that they put on nachos.

What is America’s favorite cheese?  That would be mozzarella (most likely because of its use on pizza).  Cheddar was number one until 2002 and is now in second place followed by cream cheese and then Swiss.  Cheese consumption is expected to slow as the U.S. population ages.   Think gas and hard stools.

Cheese may become cool again with the popularity of the edgy Cheetos commercials where people with cheese-stained fingers wreak havoc on unsuspecting citizens.  There was also a story a few years back about the guy who had gone to the emergency room concerned about his you-know-what being orange.  It seemed that he partook of the crunchy treat prior to self-foreplay. 

In closing, enjoy cheese and let me know in the comment section what is your favorite cheese.

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